Thursday, December 4, 2008

Bulk Barn's best-kept secret

What started as a fun artsy project is quickly becoming my studying comfort food...

I am sitting on my couch, surrounded by empty fortune cookie wrappers. The fortunes lined in a neat, almost OCD row next to a pile of crumpled plastic.

When you think about it, fortune cookies are the best study food- they're lightly sweet, so you can eat lots of them and not feel sick; they're mostly air, so you can't feel like a total blob for consuming them in epic proportions; and the wise notes contained inside their crispy shells not only inspire deep thoughts but distract me from my mind-mangling articles on the feminist print media in Canada.

Of course, I acquired this large bag of these tasty not-quite-Asian confections from Bulk Barn (which is potentially the best thing about Ontario aside from their tradition of eating clementines during the holidays rather than mandarin oranges)... with BB charging by the pound, fortune cookies are one of the best investments one can make because of the fact that they're so light, they practically defy gravity. Indeed, by a deliciousness/entertainment/cost analysis, there's no more intelligent snacking option. At least, this is what I'm telling myself as I compulsively tear my way through a grocery bag of cookies.

If their sheer tastiness wasn't enough to keep me going back, the opportunity to pick and choose my fortunes is.

"Your smile will brighten someone else's day"

... Right.

"Someone is speaking well of you"

... Riiiiight.

"Others find your charm irresistible"

... Ok, I guess I can deal with that.

Oh, in case you haven't noticed, I've started a new blog. I could give all sorts of reasons for not continuing with my old one that I lovingly kept 2001-2007, but it isn't really that important. Or, as my last cookie just said:

"Look with favour upon a bold beginning."


  1. I wish you had imparted this wisdom several days ago. I might have considered studying for exams if I had hit upon an appropriate snacking food. As it was, my buttery-salty popcorn monstrosity was delicious but left my fingers too greasy to hold a pen. So what's a girl to do but turn on HGTV?

  2. Remember the secret to Fortune Cookie fun!

    Step 1 - Crack open cookie
    Step 2 - Eat cookie
    Step 3 - Read fortune
    Step 4 - Laugh while imagining the poor person whose job it is to come up with all those fortunes
    Step 5 - Open up another cookie, and if the fortune is funnier or better, keep it, if not, throw it out
    *Lather, Rinse, Repeat*

  3. Wait... did one of these fortunes say your life was going to receive a warm breeze of inspiration? Is that where the pantless thing comes in?